A much much nicer day today. When I awoke we were nearly becalmed, but a wind came up from the South and got stronger as the day wore on, pushing us firmly and smoothly in the direction we want to go. I cooked up an elaborate breakfast of bacon with a sort of potato patty. The latter didn’t work out even vaguely as it was supposed to, but was tasty and filling enough nonetheless. And at lunchtime Doug dragged out a loaf of bread + invited me to fix some lunch. I strongly suspect his motivation was half guilt and half appeasement. Either way, I seized the proffered opportunity – fixed Val + I a sandwich each. After dinner (which was very nice by the way,) Doug repeated a favourite theme – high praise of Val. This in itself I don’t mind – Val deserves it. But quite clearly + openly applied to the same idea is implied criticism of me, as so much useless dead wood. Which is a shade dispiriting to a feller somewhat lacking in the old self-esteem. And is, incidentally, rather rude. Val attempted, unsuccessfully, to cheer me up, but she also made a couple of interesting points. First that I am far less willing to accommodate myself t others than she is. (True.) And that except in circumstances when I feel totally secure or when I’m drunk (or, I might add, both) I am exceedingly quiet + reserved. (I also come out of my shell on stage.) Which is true, too. And just like my dad.
More introspection, laced with self-pity – not a good look.