I still felt pretty depressed, yesterday’s incident preying on my mind. I am liable to get the blackest of moods, as Val could testify, + this was one of those occasions. What makes things worse is that I am pretty sure Doug regards me as just so much dead wood on the boat. And it’s not just that Val can navigate when I can’t – it also seems to me that he assigns to her any responsible jobs which are going, while I am ignored or fobbed off. It doesn’t do too much for the old self-esteem.
Doug got our clearance papers in the morning, + we moved off about midday. The pulling up of the anchor + moving out all went pretty smoothly, + we were soon out in the ocean blue. It was nice to see that Dick on Blue Moves was off about half an hour behind us – it’s nice to have company. Dick only has a VHF tho’, no ham, so we’re not likely to be together for long – it’s a very big ocean. It was a very rough ocean too, + after having grown accustomed to the comforts of shore for a couple of weeks it was quite a shock. Val generally feels a bit queasy the first day or two out, but on this occasion even I, normally with stomach muscles of steel, was feeling distinctly odd, + I had to lie down for an hour or two during the afternoon. When I awoke, I saw Doug chomping into mince, beans + taters. For some reason he didn’t seem to think I wanted any. I soon put that to rights by demolishing not only my share, but Val’s as well (she wasn’t eating.) I felt quite the pig when I’d finished. After two weeks’ freedom, watch-keeping was a bind, but I survived with the help of 2 new tapes (we swapped 2 with Ganesh.)
Well wasn’t I feeling sorry for myself! But, as I have said on a regular basis, it is an accurate reflection of how I felt at the time. And I am not sure that it was very sensible to be quite such a greedy-guts. But all I can do from this distance in time is shake my head sadly.