October 17th 1981

posted in: Innocents Abroad | 0

A real treat for breakfast – we’d bought some English muffins + raspberry jam – they were gorgeous.  However, + rather expectedly, the picking was extremely dull.  What do I think about all day?  It depends, of course – so many things have passed thro’ my mind during the last few weeks.  Sometimes it’s possible to keep one’s mind concentrated on picking – busy busy, keep moving, stop dreaming, 2 apples per hand, get all you can, then down the ladder, shift it, up again – but such times are rare, at least for me.  I believe I wrote before that I’ve thought quite a lot about my dad, and an idea I’ve had to write his biography.  More recently, + especially today, I’ve thought about my own past, often with a good deal of regret.  That, however, is a character flaw of mine – perhaps of everybody, I can’t say – that I regret much, or even most, of what I’ve done in + with my life.  For some reason, my mind has centred upon Culham, + people + events there, + today I was thinking particularly about Launceston, + in particular the college.  I expressed to Val the thought that perhaps I shouldn’t have left Launceston, + this upset her, since she was able to remember far more clearly than I did how depressed the teaching had made me.  Just another example of viewing the past thro’ rose-coloured specs, or more accurately, editing out the bad bits, leaving in the good.  She also thought that the manner of my leaving had spoiled any return.  Anyway…

I left work a bit early to find out what was on at the pictures, + to start dinner, tinned spaghetti.  To our disgust, for about the 4th Saturday running, there was a load of old rubbish on, so we thought we’d head down to the North 40 again, mainly for want of anything better.  Drove first to Mission Market to buy a few things, + just about then my cold, which still hadn’t gone away, really got to me.  Val agreed to go home, we made the fire again, + I went to bed with a book.  In a dreadful state, sniffling + sneezing.

Well, that was a bit of self-pitying introspection, wasn’t it?  Some explanations?  Culham was where I went to teacher training college, Launceston (in Cornwall) the place where I got my first teaching job.  And leaving had been both dramatic and traumatic.

Otherwise, notable for me skipping off work – again – it seemed I would take any opportunity to do so.

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