Just to polish off yesterday properly – there wasn’t room to include this. I’d developed a rotten cold, + by the end of yesterday evening was in a pretty poor state, somehow driving home with a sneezing fit going on. In any case, come the morning I was still feeling pretty rough, so I stayed in bed till about 10, dozing, finishing my book, + generally feeling sorry for myself. Struggled up + went out to work with Val for a while, but I don’t think I was a lot of help, and at a little after 12 I came back to the cabin, made myself a cup of tea + a cheese sandwich, + sat reading the National Lampoon magazine, an old copy of which was lying around the cabin. It’s like a dirty version of Punch, + there was some good stuff in it. I rejoined Val at about 2, feeling considerably better, + we both worked really well, in order to be able to finish 6 bins.
We started dinner, + I popped down to the store to get some shopping. My main reason was to buy a newspaper to find out how West Ham did – it served me right, there was no result. Then I went to fetch James for supper, but he’d obviously given up on us, + had already eaten. He still came round, + shared some spaghetti with us. He was OK, but his English is pretty limited, so it’s difficult to have a proper conversation, even more difficult to relate by humour, my first means of communication. In any case, however churlish it may seem, we were rather relieved when he went.
Got a letter from mum yesterday, sounds as tho’ she had a good holiday. Says she wonders how we’ll settle down when we get home. I wonder the same thing. I’ve almost decided to at least try for a decent drama school – I think I’ve hated very nearly every job I‘ve ever tried, so I might as well have a go at doing something I enjoy.
Yet another day of me missing work. And I was feeling sorry for myself – when was it ever different!? That old sense of humour thing comes up again; it really does seem to be my only way of getting through to anyone, certainly the main measure that I use to judge them.
As for drama school, well, that didn’t happen either. Though probably just as well, knowing what I now know of how difficult it is to make any sort of a proper living. On the whole, I am not unhappy at the choices I have made with my career, and have probably been more involved with theatre than if I had tried to be an actor. But who’s to say?